Volume 7, Issue 3, page 6

VICK, SICK, SICK!
I've never seen
a purple cow --
And don't pretend

to see one now --
But have you heard

About the bird
Who makes

tomatoes
shake and bow?
O
11
W MANY lives can you live at one
time? Well, most of us are satisfied with one or two, but not L.Ron
Hubbard, a former science fiction
writer who turned his talents to
Dianetics and Scientology. And now
that he has "the better bridge "
girdling the globe (or so we read
in something or other), has permitted himself to be interviewed on
what may be his crowning achievement -- research into the emotional life of tomatoes, asparagus, string beans, and other
garden varieties of plants and implants.

Shortly after one of our readers sent us a
write-up about the botanical psychiatrist in
The NATIONAL ENQUIRER, a tabloid-type magazine, we received a similar account from an
English newspaper, The London DAILY MIRROR.
Presumably, both articles are about the same
person, altho there are discrepancies in the
two reports -- primarily the residence of the
wealthy grandfather who furnished the funds
that make it possible for this "enormously
wealthy man" to work without pay. However, as
some fiction (not always "science "fiction )
often creeps into newspaper interviews, maybe
the two writers can be forgiven if one gives
the source of wealth as coming from ownership
of "half the state of Montana" and the other
says the wealthy grandfather was a "Nebraska
cattle rancher". .In any event, realists admit
that it takes wealth to acquire a mansion and
estate from the Maharajah of Jaipur, and there
can't be such wealth in Scientology when students are charged only $800 or so for fiveand six-week training courses.

The London DAILY MIRROR story, written by
John Rolls, follows:
"I went down to the wilds of Sussex yesterday to meet a:remarkabl.e, bewildering American
scientist