Volume 2, Issue 9, page 16


Witchcraft Lesson

"Infinite 591,

(Continued from Page 9.)

CLAIM that their heathenish God, being all wise and all kindly
like they pretend, why all they have to do is agree enough and
not see many
troubles nor too many facts, and they can have something for
nothing, just whatever they request.

Naturally, when they do get something, they SAY it was for
nothing.

But you just watch, and you will see where the backclap catches
them, and them not looking.

The REAL God, being there all the time if they look or don't
look, He has his Price, and He don't neither dicker nor dally. So
them as
makes use of His powers had better know how it is, f or in the
end, no matter what you try to fob off on Him or other people,
His price is what
you got to pay. And you pay it yourself. So plan according.

The Saints, they go so far as to try to pay beforehand. You might
as well try to wash seven times and then stay clean for a week.
And they
try to do little chores, and foolish favors, and make special
arrangements. Hal as if there was any arrangement possible to
make with Him. Oh,
you got to be careful and never be fooled by them Saints.

To give all their due, we can say that not all Saints come to bad
ends. Some finally learn and realize that all is according to His
larger
Plan. So, their feelings don't count unless they are according to
His Plan also.

Naturally, then, they are all the same as Witches, but you can't
get a Saint to see that. Besides, the idea most generally seems
kind of new
and vacant and chilly like, where they have wasted so much time
and had no training. So they seldom get far. And the fact

16

VOLNEY WINS BATTLE
OVER E-METER SALES

LOS ANGELES, 15 Dec"The Fleet suit for $380,000 suddenly came
apart at the seams today and ended abruptly under very extra

ordinary circumstances: Every one present sensed something
unusual was occurring. Total victory: Suit dismissed, Concept
Therapy contract
voluntarily rescinded, returning the Electropsychometer to my
complete personal control.

"Shortly thereafter I voluntarily orally authorized C.P. Wright,
associated with Dr Thurman Fleet, to resume ;ale of
Electropsychometers
on a non-exclusive basis at reduced prices.

:Volney Mathison."

is, some of them fight us Witches worse than ever.

Once you get to be a Saint there ain't hardly no cure for it.

Now, you all

jet out corn poppers whilst I look in my Book of Chaldee for
some more recipes to create you some human abilities .
Palliatives... Preventives...it ought to be something decent to
kind of restore a balance ... where did I put my glasses, now?
Could they of fell
under the...

Ow! I Oh, you villains! Owl

if I catch you imps, I vow I will give you to the missionaries.

Usually All Chain Letters

Go Into the Wastebasket

We've been trying to find out what happened to Russ Haggard when
he faced a Los Angeles court on Dec. 13 for the alleged use of
peyote in processing, and when, the other day we received an e n
v e 1 o pe with his address in the corner, we ripped it open
anxious to digest
the news. Our consternation was complete when we found therein
only one of those fool chain letters which promise and threaten
if you Zn't
continue the asininity.

So, knowing how badly they need the "luck" and how prone they are
to superstitions of any sort that promise to bring in great sums
of
money, we sent the letter on to the HASI gang in Washington. We
wish them the best in I T.

-o0o- MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING

to They're digging into Christopher Marlowe's 16th Century
tomb England in a renewal
of the old problem: "Who wrote
the Shakespeare lays?" Was it
of such ghouls Macbeth said:
III am reckless what I do to
spite the world"?

The ABEBREE

GLOBICIDES!

A typewriter using an entirely new keyboard, supposed to be more
efficient, is being

iven a four-month trial in 16

Federal agencies. If the test is a success --well, the Government
has 800,000 standard machines to replace at a cost of --you
figure it; we're
too busy with our income tax blankPty blanks!

Five Los Angeles policemen were indicted on burglary charges, And
an Ardmore. Okla

city charged with

commissioner five burglaries in a neighboring county, insisted
on habeas corpus action to extradite him from one county to
another.

A judge who ruled against the city of New York in a succession of
overtime parking

cases with the decision "Ygg can't prosecute a car" upset
official circles so much that they unparked the ?Jdge from this
particular bench.
It was no fun (to the city se

seeing a

hole eaten in their $6,000,000- a-year revenue in fines.

Leaping -1 through Zae window at the first sound of flames

an Oklahoma City pastor stood heroically (and safely) below while
his brother tossed to his waiting arms his wife and six children.

Oklahoma, which has a "Panhandle,' and elects its governors with
mental capacities to match, has one now who seeks a kingdom of
yes-
men to outdo all kingdoms of yes-men. His last ousted foe: the
Capitol barber who favored a rival in the primaries.

And while we're on the subject of Oklahoma insurance statistics
reveal that Oklahomans can expect one or more years, longer life
than
the national average. Have any of dying graybeards noticed KOOUW
Yloung we I re looking lately?

-o0o-
Coulter Wants Charges
For Synergetics Stowed

Reports that some users of Synergetics are charging for their
coaching services has brought a protest from Dr. Art Coulter M.D.
the
founder of Synergetics. .,

"No one is authorized to charge a fee for Synergetic coaching,"
Dr. Coulter said in a formal statement. "Synergetics belongs to
people,
freely helping themselves and One another. Naturally, this
applies to me as well as anyone else. I have never charged a fee
for coaching."

1956

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