Blooms & Barbs

Blooms & Barbs

by Tido Churchill

PHOENIX, Ariz., 8 Apr.— A little less than two years ago, LRH presented the inspired "Factors" to the field; it was a "summation of the considerations and examinations of the human spirit and the material universe completed between 1923 and 1953 A.D." And this admirable work was "Humbly tendered as a gift to Man by L. Ron Hubbard April 23, 1953." It appeared on Page 1 of issue 16-G of the Journal of Scientology. On Page 16, the last paragraph stated: "THIS IS SCIENTOLOGY, SCIENCE OF CERTAINTY, was written especially for The Journal of Scientology by L. Ron Hubbard and contains a summary of his work for the use and interest of the general public." (Underlining ours.)

The recent Contract to Teach and to Train issued by HASI (March, 1955) carries with it a $25,COO note, payable on demand, and a tedious list of pledges to be signed individually, one of which is the following: "I further understand that Scientology is not the property of all Men but is a Wisdom which I hold as a personal charge in commcn with L. Ron Hubbard." Any
comment on the above seems quite unnecessary, but we cannot refrain from wondering how long it would take for any suit based on the "Contract" to be thrown out of court.

Note to Webster: The definition of the word "Criminal" has been enlarged upon by that reckless word-maker LRH; in the recent ABILITY MAJOR I, a criminal is defined as one who has been found guilty of attacking Scientology and/or LRH. Investigation of those in the category of "attackers" of Scientology and LRH (the article explains), will, in a majority of cases, disclose a "criminal record", and/or a record of having come from a "criminal family". We just remembered that Grandpa—, on our maternal line, once was incarcerated in a Federal penitentiary for practicing polygamy in the early days. It certainly adds up, all right. (Ed. Note—Shades of Confuciustology, or Confusionologyl We thought Scientology was concerned only with present time, not with past records.)

Perhaps the planets are in a favorable conjunction, or it may be that the entrails of a dog have been consulted, but whatever the sign or portent, you can dust off that old E-meter and hope that it doesn't need an overhaul* Or, if you have been one of those who has hastily hidden the thing when company comes, you needn’t any more. E-Meters soon will be respectable again. At any rate, this seems a reasonably safe forecast to make, since LRH is reported to have two local electronics men working on a new model. Has it been discovered that the all-embracing principle of the commlag isn't so all-embracing?

Jack Horner, who challenged recently the majesty of the British Courts and the authority of the Home Secretary, is en route to Phoenix after having been deported in record time ty representatives.of Scotland Yard. The detectives escorted Jack to a New-York-bound plane, minus his fiancee, Pamela Kirk, a ward of Chancery and the motivation for this romantic episode. We predict Jack will be a considerable number of pounds (sterling) lighter before this situation is settled, since he (according to ABILITY) was the FIRST to sign a note for $25,000, payable on demand and collectable whenever any one of a number of signed agreements is presumed to have been violated.

Horner's affair-of-the heart made Page 1 of the Phoenix REPUBLIC (Ed. Note: This is considered by some a daily newspaper that never could find space to mention Scientology or Dianet-

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