Dear Editor

Dear Editor --

"Dear DEVIL:

"As the current issue of the ABERREE was handled with the tenderness and restraint of an over-heated cobra, I NOW know how you earned your nickname. SOAP OPERA ON SEX was the most delightful bit of devilment I have ever read, and should anyone with a mislaid sense of humor take umbrage at your spoofing, quote Don Marquis:
"A goof
Don't spoof'." -- Marjorie Sapp, East Point, Ga.

"A dianeticist since the First Book opened and at last successfully crowded out by Scientologists, my efforts have been redirected into writing a book. This book, now in the hands of a publisher, will be titled 'How to be a Scientologist'. And while it's guaranteed to make a Scientologist out of anyone in a very short time, I'm nevertheless magnanimous enough to give the readers of ABERREE a brief summary of its subject matter, that they'll achieve that lofty goal suggested by its title -- and thereby kill some of my book sales -- - Maybe the ABERREE will find in it something commendable, if only the the spelling:

"1. What to Wear -- a Scientologist must never be seen when not wearing a smile. The purpose of the Perpetual Smile is two-fold: (a) it implies a superior state of being to that of the ordinary aberree (Ed. Note -- there is no 'ordinary' ABERREE) who is fortunate enough to be honored by the presence of such a personage; and (b) It is one of the best defenses against invalidation.

"2. How to Handle Invalidation -- (a) Preventing invalidation before gets a chance: Having just chanted to a layman the customary litany, 'Scientology is wonderful, scientology is wonderful, scientology is wonderful', the layman might be low-toned enough to invalidate the invalidator before he has a chance to ask embarrassing questions. The moment you spot a look of curiosity... remark, in calm conversational tone, that you were up on Mars all last

week-end. This not only changes the subject but, if the layman happens to be a dianetic auditor who cured a case of cancer in a few minutes, even he will be made to feel pretty small.

"(b) How to invalidate after the fact: If the layman is aberrated enough to ask a direct question, such as, 'Have you cured any psychosomatics lately?' all you have to do is turn the Perpetual Smile on one your colleagues, and -- this is important! -- widen the smile. Do not make the mistake of answering your questioner; the widened smile speaks for you. It says, in effect, 'Dear, dear. These aberrees. Oh, well...'

(c) How to cope with persistent invalidation: If the layman will not accept on faith your statement that scientology is wonderful (which should be proof enough for anybody), then go ahead and be specific. You'll always be perfectly safe as long as you speak only about a case you treated and say nothing whatever about the processing. For example, suppose he asks what you've cured. All you have to do is describe the horrible condition one of your cases was in. Then stop. If your questioner grows more insistent, describe the case in more detail. It will seldom be necessary to do this more than three or four times before he gives up. But we live in an aberrated society and that means there are a number of people who still must have some evidence in order to form an opinion. And so, it's best for the aspiring scientologist to learn the next step. And in this step we tell our overly-curious inquisitor: (a) 'I cleared up the case!; or (b) 'He felt better'. Remember, keep it vague!

3. What to Do When in the Wrong -- That this is a catch question will be obvious to any alert student who hopes one day to become a scientologist. The answer, of course, is that there's nothing to do when wrong, because a scientologist can't be wrong...

"4. How to Handle a Dissenter -- -Infidels, blasphemers, nonbelievers must not be allowed to speak out. One of these, who had the lack of foresight to express an opinion of his own regarding the holy subject (a reader of CADA, named Lundberg) was scientologically dealt with by another reader who answered every one of Lundberg's arguments to wit:

We of the Church believe:

"That all men have inalienable rights to think freely, to talk freely, to write freely their own opinions and to counter or utter or write upon the opinions of others."

-- From the Creed of the Church of Scientology.

'...if you are going to allow these dissenters in, to stink up the works, please don't send me the issues containing their evil.' Very scientologically spoken. But not, I'm afraid, to be compared with the fine subtlety of a true scientologist that was contained in another letter in the same issue and which took care of the base Lundberg expertly. I quote:

"'Your letter of September 4, 1954, with reference to the CADA journal has come to my attention... We wish to call to your attention the letter you published in the copy we received written by Lundberg. The HASI feels that the printing of this letter was most ill-advised ... For this reason we are unable to accept your offer of arranging an exchange of publications at this time..."

"I've seen no opposition squelcher to compare with this masterpiece ... Touche! (Which is French for 'Touch something in the room -- never mind getting well!')

"P.S. I'mnot a dissenter myself, but something smells.' -- Jim Bartley, New York, N.Y.

"I enjoyed the first issue because it didn't take itself so stiff-shirtedly! Most new therapies or cults have a tendency to be on the defensive and thus lacking in good humor. I'm eclectic in all my beliefs; have done much independent research in psychological and occult matters and follow no definite school of thought. For years I've worked on an idea of my own and feel it'll take 15-20 years before I can put it into practice.

"Excellent Art Coulter's article on Freud. Glad to see the ABERREE a magazine of intelligence and diversified opinions. A therapist should study all schools of thought. If he sticks to one and refuses to read other therapeutic literature he is of necessity limited in experience and knowledge." -- Leo Martello, New York, N.Y.

"The disagreements, estrangements, etc., which have taken place in the World of Dianetics-Scientology are a sure sign that there must be something seriously wrong with the basic claims made, as th very essence of these claims was that the doctrines freed people from the faults that have caused so much strife in the world. However, this does not mean to say that there is not much to be learnt from it, or that important discoveries have not been made. Books, such as 'A Doctor's Report on Dianetics', indicate that such discoveries have been made; but they also indicate that L.R.H. is quite a fallible and aberrated human being, with a tendency to let ideas run away with him...

"His attempts to stop his followers from reading your publication is a very unhealthy sign (remember Hitler and the foreign radio?) and in contradiction with earlier attitudes in which, apparently, it was correct to have a sense of humor and criticize freely according to one's own opinions...

"Just what has been discovered and really proved well enough to