A Soap Opera on "Sex" (CECS)
NO MATTER HOW YOU SPELL IT, IT'S STILL
A Soap Opera on "Sex"
IN XX ACTS
Casual perusers of the masthead on the Auditorial Page may notice that we have a new degree: XXdCECS. For those who do not know what the letters stand for, including many who also have the degree, we hasten to explain: "Double crossed by the CECS".
It was Monday before the Congress. Outside, it was cold and dusty. As we have done prior to so many past Congresses, we stopped in the office of the HASI for a short chat with L. Ron Hubbard, and were stopped by a newly-erected eye-high barrier. Also, instructions that we first must be interviewed by Dr. Barrett.
The following is an un-taped recording of parts of that interview:
AH -- Hello, Ken. Congratulations on the promotion.
KB -- Unhuh.
AH -- Just dropped in to see Ron, and find out where I stand in the organization.
KB -- Well, you're (word mumbled and unrecognizable).
AH -- Oh? Does that mean I'm neither in nor out?
KB -- (Nods.)
AH -- You know that I've had no communications from this office in three months -- no JOURNALS, or even answers to my letters?
KB -- Yes.
AH -- I'm slightly mixed up. You know, that when I worked for the HAS, I was made a Founding Member because I cancelled nearly $800 salary due me?
KB -- We appreciate that.
AH -- I'11 say! And as a Founding Member, I'm supposed to be a member for life?
KB -- Yes.
AH -- And that entitled me to the JOURNALS?
KB -- Yes.
AH -- But I haven't gotten the JOURNALS?
KB -- No.
AH -- And I'm not going to get any JOURNALS?
KB -- No.
AH -- And, do you know that I'm a Fellow of Scientology, and as a Fellow of Scientology, I'm a member of the HASI for life?
KB -- Yes.
AH -- And that entitles me to the JOURNALS?
KB -- Yes.
AH -- But I haven't gotten any JOURNALS?
KB -- No.
AH -- And I'm not going to get any JOURNALS?
KB -- No.
AH -- And do you know that I paid $800 for the Clinical Course,, and that entitlies me to membership in the HASI until January 1?
KB -- Yes.
AH -- And as a member I'm supposed to get the JOURNAL?
KB -- Yes.
AH -- And I haven't gotten the JOURNALS?
KB -- No.
AH -- And I'm not going to get any JOURNALS?
KB -- No.
AH -- O.K. Do you know that I paid $50 for my Doctor of Divinity certificate, and for which I also was to receive a medallion, a ribbon, a lape1 pin, and a book of the Church?
KB -- Yes.
AH -- And I haven't gotten them?
KB -- No.
AH -- But you're going to give them to me?
KB -- No.
AH -- Then I suppose you're going to refund my money?
KB -- No.
AH -- Why?
KB -- We don't like your attitude.
AH -- What is my attitude?
KB -- You make fun of your certificates.
AH -- Oh, I did? In what way?
KB -- It was in The Aberree.
AH -- What did I say?
KB -- I never read The Aberree.
AH -- It might be better for you if you did. Then how do you know I made fun of my certificates?
KB -- The Board decided.
AH -- Oh, the Board read it? Who's on the Board?
KB -- I could tell you, but I won't.
AH -- It's a secret?
KB -- No, I just won't tell you.
AH -- Ken, since you don't read The Aberree, I think I should tell you that I never have, and don't intend to, say anything that can be construed as critical of Scientology itself.
KB -- The only ones who read The Aberree are people who've found someone to do their griping for them.
AH -- Is that so? I don't know if you know it or not, but The Aberree probably has a larger circulation than The JOURNAL -- and not just because it's only $2 a year, either.
KB -- That's probably so.
AH -- As for my criticism, it's only some of the control measures I object to -- the policies of the CECS.
KB -- You don't like the CECS?
AH -- No, I don't. As far as I'm, concerned, it's pronounced "sex", and that's just where it is on the one scale.
KB -- Well, you're not going to practice Scientology.
AH -- When I had the office over on Central, we used to call it "The Communication Center of Dianetics and Sci-"