Masthead | Auditorials


Vol. 1 -- No. 9, Jan.-Feb., 1955

The Non-serious Organ of "The Infinites", a Universe of Being as Unlimited as the Name Implies.

Published in the Dark of the Moon -- Six to 12 Moons a
Year -- at 207 No. Washington, Enid., Okla., U.S.A.

Editor -- The Rev. Mr. Dr. ALPHIA OMEGA HART, I-2, D.D., D.Scn.,
F.Scn., B.Scn.(2), HCA, HDA, XXdCECS.

Publisher -- AGNES JOHNSON HART, I-1, HCA., SEC., H.Kpr.

POLICY -- If you must take it at all, don't take it so damn'

NOTE -- We reserve the right to change our minds from issue to
issue, or even from page to page.

Subscription Price -- Same as last month -- $2 a year. No trade-ins
or refunds.

Advertising Rates -- $1 a column inch, if you get results; double
that if you don't.


Once upon a time, there was a soap factory. Its product was advertised far and wide as able to perform miracles -- clean both inside and out.

People bought the soap. They tried it. It was good. In some cases, it may not have cleaned as well as it had been represented, but all in all, it was the best soap on the market.

But there was one flaw: The wrapper. It smelled, and spoiled somewhat the delicate scent of the soap it was supposed to protect. Buyers complained.

"Anyone who says anything against the wrapper can't use the soap," the factory declared.

"How about a refund?" they asked.

"No refunds," they were told. "You have the soap, but don't try to use it."

The buyers shook their heads, very, very sadly. There were so many things they'd like to say, but from infancy, they'd been taught that if they gave voice to some of their thoughts, they'd get their mouths washed out. And they had no soap -- well, no soap they could use, anyway. Not even to wash their mouths out with.


We aren't -- and never have been -- opposed to Scientology. We're only opposed to any force that is trying to control and kill Scientology. It is most unfortunate that one of these destructive forces should have incubation under the roof of the organization we actively support.

When the sailors with him unleashed the winds while Ulysses slept, there was nothing they could do about putting them back in the bags. We hope that isn't true of some of the recent policies of the CECS.

The recent short-sighted policies of Phoenix will not destroy Scientology, because you cannot destroy a thought. The idea has been given to the people, and the people will not let the idea die. But they may destroy the people who released the winds -- the supposed-to-be guardians of the idea that should have freed mankind and not enslaved him.

When Copernicus offered his cosmology that contradicted previous cosmologies which held that the world was the center of the entire universe, the release was prefaced with the statement that the theory was purely hypothetical, but it was offered as an idea which had been reached only after studious research. The church, and those in "authority", revolted at the idea. Copernicus was in jeopardy. But the idea had been released -- and only we of the Twentieth Century, who know that it "isn't mud from there on down", can realize the power of growth in an idea. Even the tiniest seed that becomes the mightiest of oaks is a piker in comparison.

And so with Scientology. The idea has been released. No matter what "authority" says, nor what action may be taken by the releasing organization to deprive non-paying humans of its use, the idea will grow. It will be smoothed out and rounded out by other thinkers, and eventually WILL be the key that unlocks the fetters of disbelief and superstition. Because an idea isn't a THING. Once born, it can't be snuffed out or suppressed, by human whims. It was an idea that created man, democracy -- even the physical universe. And it will an idea -- not man -- that gives man back his affinity with the Infinite.


Responsibility --

They were bad over there, but we used our knowledge to fix them up.

No Responsibility --

They made us ex-communicate them.

Today, if you want a cop, just stand near a parking meter that has a red flag showing. But you'd better wait until he gets traffic ticket made out before you try to his attention from his No. 1 duty.

The stuff we left out of this issue is "hotter" than the stuff we put in -- but there's a limit to what you can expect for $2 a year.

He who laughs last is usually the funniest.