Open Letter to the HDRF | Someone Threatens to Sue "Aberree" Over Something


To the Examining Committee, HUBBARD DIANETIC RESEARCH FOUNDATION, Phoenix, Ariz.

Dear Committee:

Thank you for your letter to The ABERREE, offering it a chance to become a Bachelor of Dianetics, or even a PhD if it will merely cough up $250 or $500 and take the Dianetics training for a month or two in Phoenix.

However, as Editor of The ABERREE, and holding all the degrees available until these new ones came on the scene following the removal of the Foundation from Wichita to Phoenix, I do not intend for my magazine to start competing with me in the acquisition of letters after its name. Besides, The ABERREE both on Page 1 and on the Page 2 Masthead, fits perfectly as it is, and the addition of abbreviated labels would cause a serious adjustment in make-up. What would my readers think if they shucked the wrapper spread open their favorite Scientology journal (not THE "Journal"), and saw staring back at them, a devil winking from under his eyeshade behind a fence of "The ABERREE, B. Dn.", or even "The ABERREE" PhD."?

Tenthly, The ABERREE does not have, nor has it been de-categoried from, any H. D. A. or D. A. degree, and when it starts getting such high-falutin' ideas, I intend to disown it forthwith, and place it in Category 11 -- Deceased, Defunct, Dethetaized, and Unpublished.

I'm sure your offer to The ABERREE was made with the utmost sincerity, but my intercession comes only from my "goodness of heart". Would you have all my readers face an empty mailbox for a month or two while The ABERREE went to Phoenix to earn a degree? And what if it came back a theta clear?

I want no such tragedy befalling any magazine of mine.

(Signed) The EDITOR, HDA, HCA, F.Scn., B.Scn.(2), D.D., D.Scn.

Someone Threatens to Sue "Aberree" Over Something

(THIS Confusion Began on Page 1.)

strolled by at that particular moment in his hunt for stray mice or rats. Even the cricket, which usually chirrups some kind of answer for some of the crazy and unhuman communications that occasionally reach our desk, was nonplused by this one, and curled up in the corner, dead.

So, we took the second paragraph -- that, at least, was simple -- and replied:

"Please tell us more. It sounds like a hell of a good story."

And, in keeping with the latest H.A.S.I. directive, we even contributed a couple sheets of blank paper on which to answer.

We've heard nothing more. We still don't know what it's all about. We wrote Volney., who gave us a statement, but we admit we're going to have to toss the whole thing into the laps of those among our readers who can savvy "Clearese". Our linguistic accomplishments, we regret, are limited to English and a few choice phrases in German, Spanish, and French.

Here's Volney's contribution:

"The invention and manufacture of Mathison Electropsychometers is and always has been completely separate and not related in any way to the activities of Mr. L. Ron Hubbard, the various mutually published publicity items or endorsements being concerned with sales promotion, and were for no other purpose.

"Mr. Hubbard did not ever at any time suggest to me that I should invent or how to invent the Mathison Electropsychometer, further than to recommend the use of tin-can electrodes instead of resilent sponges. (We no longer use either one.) A true and correct statement of the matter appears in Mr. Hubbard's own book, ELECTROPSYCHOMETRIC AUDITING, Pages 16 and 17."