When Army Col. John H. Dilley outlined what he considered decent wear for women in the American zone of Germany --and made it a command--the wrath of a thousand outraged females descended on him. "I had no idea ..." the Colonel said. Most Colonels don't.

And another anti-nudist, who hasn't the Army to back him up--the Arkansas hillbilly preacher--got his big hulk thrown out of a nudist convention when he tried to crash the gates in full array. Sputtering indignantly, he settled for photographing the license plates of cars "to show his waiting flock" the extent of nudism.

Nine conscientious objectors are to be fed food exposed to atomic radiation to see how harmful it might be to humans. The nine, according to the Fitzsimons Army Hospital at Denver, "volunteered".

Doctors, holding a congress in Brazil in their frantic efforts to find something for which they can blame cancer, heard a British biochemist point an accusing finger at chemicals manufacturers put in processed foods. Two suspected culprits: yellow used to color margarine and green used in canning peas.

Somebody, evidently, paved a street in Baton Rouge, La., but no one knows who. The city didn't; neither did the state--nor did the property owners. Anyone getting some reality on their MEST mockups?

When Denver police arrested 44 Lowry airmen for brawling near the Capitol, they seized their weapons and turned the rowdies over to military police. Within 24 hours, some of the same gang were nabbed trying to crash a downtown movie.

Mexicans who swim across the Rio Grande to take jobs in Texas (wetbacks) are being shipped home by the Border Patrol--and charged for their "fare". Although they may be only a mile or so from home, the bus trip for which they are charged is by El Paso, 600 miles away.

Michigan, after keeping a woman in a mental hospital for 19 years, has released her, the court ruling she had been committed after an argument over a debt without sufficient evidence. The woman, who prepared her own habeas corpus, is now 61, and paid her fare to her family's home in New Orleans with money from greeting cards she made and sold while in custody.

Women who look like women must start wearing girdles as high as the arm pits--according to the latest decree from a Paris fashion dictator. Falsie manufacturers see deflation in their inflation business.

The governor of Oklahoma had to intervene when a disabled war veteran complained his wife and new born child were being held by the state-supported University Hospital for a $40 hospital bill.

An Oklahoma candidate for county commissioner refused to file a list of campaign expenses, as required by law, saying it was impossible to keep costs within limits, and he wasn't going to lie. He added that--as campaign manager for Governor Murray --more than $250,000 was spent on his campaign, although the law limits such a campaign to $3,000.

Ministers at Cushing, Okla., were given a special hour on two mornings a week so they could swim privately without having their ministerial dignity--and fat or bony knees--subjected to public scrutiny.