Volume 5, Issue 2, page 2
Vol. V, No. 2
Recusant voice of '7heN to what it should be called.
Infinite," for Earth, Mars, And in return ...
Saturn, Pluto, Venus, and For the best letter received
during the next six months as
to why we should change the
name, we'll give a five-year
subscription to The ABERREE
(or whatever name it may be
called for this period of time)
-- plus a copy of each book
listed in our 'Book Mart". To
the one writing the best letter over the same period as to
why the name should not be
changed, we'll give an identical award. We'll try to find
A third award of the same
amount will be made to the person who offers the most acceptable new name. In this
latter case, should there be
two or more proposing the same
WILL ABERREE When we start- to strangers invariably brought name, the first one received
CHANGE NAME? ed The ABERREE forth such queries as "What will get the full award, and
AND TO WHAT? back in March of does 'Aberree' mean?" and "How the others. e Weclr see that
1953, we gave it do you pronounce it?" they are taken care of, one
its odd label with a defiant, This is our fifth year, and way or another.
tongue-in-cheek play on the were we to compile the list of Sy.ulets yur from ywe,
word ''aberration". In doing protests into one bundle, it and ro, and you. Shall e a.
after all this time, tear
so, we hoped to set the style might not be high enough to that tattered ensign down" and
and pace of what the magazine endanger the path of a Sputnik blossom out under a new label?
would be -- were it to continue -- or Explorer, but it probably
fearless and non-conformist, would be almost as high as our CAN 'CLEAR' BE Now that we
Most persons are aberrated list of subscribers. So, we're A BIT LIKE A "band" (put
-- or, at least, most persons wondering... Maybe -- just pos- FASHION SHOW? bracelets on)
are convinced that everyone sibly -- we ought to give our our "clears "
else is aberrated. As the Qua- baby a better name, reduce the to differentiate them from the
kee said, "Methinks all area handicap with which it must uncleared members of society,
little queer, except thee and compete against its less hen- the question may arise among
me, and sometimes I think thee est competitors. the great unwashed (those with
is a little queer." But us? But the name, "The ABERREE" no bracelets): who decrees what
Heck! We placed the brand of (outside of its suggestion of properties a person must have
Cain on our baby's forehead, insanity), is a good title, in before he can start looking
garnished it with a horned our opinion, because it does down his nose at those who can
caricature of the Prince of so many things we require of wear nothing more distinguishSin, and sent the child out to an appellative. It's original, ing than a wrist watch?
do battle with its many haloed and there's little danger of But maybe we've had the
contemporaries who were just someone coming up and claiming wrong idea of clear all along.
as aberrated, but professing they had it first. It's face- Maybe getting clear, or going
otherwise. tious enough to satisfy even up-scale, or being optimum, is
However, for more than four our thirst for facetiousness. pretty much like fashion. Some
years, now, we've been listen- And it's short -- much shorter of the clearing houses are like
ing to protests against the than such possible substitutes the Paris fashion salons. If
name ' ABERREE" from readers as "The Earth Edition of The you want tobe stylish (clear) ,
and would-be advertisers. To ZYDOKUMZRUSKEHEN JOURNAL " , or you take so many yards of this
us, the name "Aberree" means "DISHABILLEITY", or "NEW HORT- and so many yards of that, and
"straying from the normal", TONS", of which there must be you cut it like this, and you
but it seems that the usual a dozen or so publications sew it together like that -- or
connotation given the word by liking the same name. We don't to those who can afford it,
99 44/100% of the readers is want to give it up (The ABER- you may get a complete fitting
"disorder of the mini -- insani- REE title, we mean ), Yet at for $800 or so. Next year,
ty". Some thin-skinned persons the same time, we don't want tho, fashions may change and
dared not have it on their to continue offending the few this year's bracelet wearers
coffee tables for fear visi- thousand readers who quickly will be as out of date as raw
tors seeing it might look at hide the name of the magazine bosoms and peg tops.
them a bit more sharply than from their friends as soon as Maybe in the 19th Century,
previously; doctors balked at they take it from the post- a "clear'' was someone who could
adding it to their worn-out office. shoot an Indian between the
relics of LIFE, LITERARY DI- So, we're throwing The AB- eyes at 400 yards, or single
GEST, and YOUTH'S COMPANION ERREE to the wolves, so to out the prize buffalo from a
for fear their customers might speak. We're leaving the mat- herd and convert it into a lap
begin to suspect the truth ter to our readers, and we robe while his less fortunate
about the practice of medical hope to get not only your companions were unslinging
therapy; and, worst of all opinions about changing the their powder horns. But today.
mention of the magazine's name name, but any suggestions as Well, you get the idea.
The ABERREE Creed